Foot for Thought.

I originally meant for this to be posted later in the week, but seeing as how our Special Features Contributor created a post about flip-flops, I knew this had to come sooner. Yes, it’s summertime. Yes, it’s time for flip-flops. NO, you cannot go out with raunchy feet.

Whether you’d like to admit it or not, people are conscious of how others dress and look. The harsh reality is that they DO judge based on people’s appearance. If you are rockin’ some really cool flip-flops, they won’t be the first thing that girl 4 tables down will look at. She won’t be able to see past the dry, flaky and unappealing things stuck in the flip-flops. YOU MUST CARE FOR YOUR FEET!! [I hope I didn’t yell….] Hydrate! Clean! Trim! Exfoliate! Moisturize!!!! [I can’t stress the last one enough]

I’ve prepared somewhat of a “tutorial” to help you out with basic foot-care:

1] The very first thing you need to do is CLEAN your feet. The easiest way I’ve found is to just get in the shower, and scrub ‘em down! You can just use bar soap and a foot brush or a foot scrub (which would incorporate Step 3: exfoliation). This is important as a first step because in order for you to know what needs to be fixed, you must be able to see the problem clearly.

2] Next, after you dry off, of course, TRIM your toenails. Remember to go straight across!! If you cut your toenails on a curve, you could end up with painful, very unattractive ingrown toenails. Once you’ve trimmed the nails [straight across!!!], use a nail file to smooth them out. This is the time to round them out…but don’t get crazy with it! Move the file from side to side across the tip of the nail. Make sure not to go in an up/down motion because you’ll end up with chipped toenails. When you’re done, be sure that you have no jagged edges sticking out that may scratch up your girlfriend’s legs. Consider this, self-maintenance is not so much a service to yourself, but a courtesy to others.

3] This is the part where we make your feet as soft as a baby’s bottom through the art of EXFOLIATION. Yes, your feet will be that soft. Now, it’s up to you on the method here but I’m going to list a few options depending on the roughness of your feet.

- Light - got a face scrub? Use a little on slightly rough feet…saves you a trip to the drugstore! Whatever scrub you’ve got, it’ll be a nice pick-me-up for slightly tired feet.

- Medium - For feet that are a bit flaky, try Kiehl’s Ultra Moisturizing Buffing Cream. It has exfoliating particles to gently get rid of rough spots.

- Crazy Rough - For feet that are a bit too caveman, you might have to reach for the Ped-Egg. It’s kind of like a cheese grater, but for your feet. This is sure to get rid of any flakiness on your feet.

- Oh Dear God!! - If you’re feet are just SO funky that none of the above has worked for you, go to a professional. Just suck it up and go to a spa! It’s definitely worth it because it feels good!!!

4] Now that you’ve got your feet flip-flop ready, don’t forget to moisturize! This is probably the most critical step. Try this little experiment: only moisturize one foot, and then, look at the difference between the two. Does one look like it was lopped off of a corpse? Yeah, I thought so. Now do you see what I mean about proper moisturizing? It can make a WORLD of difference. The cream that does exactly what its name says is the Miracle Foot Repair Cream. It covers everything regarding your feet. Stink? Check. Dryness? Check. Cracks and itchiness? Check and check! And it makes your feet feel damn nice, too!

So there you have it, the [almost] foolproof guide to summer feet. It really only takes about 20 minutes to get your feet in flip-flop shape. And if you don’t have 20 minutes [liar!], just make sure your toenails are trimmed and your feet are moisturized. Trust me, it does make a difference.